Read the following article yesterday, and it provoked an odd reaction.

Well, on the one hand the article does expouse some truths. Like women do appreciate thoughtful gestures, not necessarily only big or expensive ones. But on the other hand why does it simplify all gestures into the 'giving of points'? Am I just unaware that I subconsciously give points and deduct points or is the point system written to appeal to the male psyche? It just seems so odd!

 

It is true that there is a tendency to measure up in terms of what each party gives, but surely it's not point counting? The giving of a rose twelve times versus the giving of twelve roses at once. I definitely do not agree that 'men get more points from giving hugs than being a good provider'. That's quite baseless right??

 

But this bit is true in my opinion.Especially the part about being faithful. What about love and care?

 

A married man gets one point for going to work, one point for returning and one point for being faithful.

These are the three golden points. Without these, he gets no other points.

 

 

Why the interaction between two people is portrayed into being a point counting game... is quite befuddling.

 

Hmmm. thoughts?

________________________

 

Score some love points

EVERY little act counts.

That's the advice writer John Gray gives to men who mistakenly think that only big or expensive gestures would make their partners go over the moon.

 

He should know, since he is the author of the 1992 best-selling guide to relationships called Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

 

In this excerpt from his new book, Why Mars & Venus Collide, he shows how an astute man can chalk up goodwill, and more.

 

EVEN though men cannot be fully responsible for their partner's happiness, they want to make women happy. But when women are overwhelmed, that may be difficult to do.

 

Just as men keep score in sports, women keep score in relationships. At a subconscious level, a woman is always keeping track of how much she gives in contrast to how much she receives.

 

When he gives to her, she gives him a point, and when she gives to him, she gives herself a point.

 

Men do this as well but not to the same extent, and not in the same way. Men tend to think if they do something big like make a lot of money for the family or take her on an expensive vacation, they will score a few hundred points.

 

When he has done something big, he figures he can relax for a while. But this is not the way women keep score.

 

On Venus, every gift of love scores equal to every other gift of love, no matter how big or small. When he does something big, he only gets one point, but when he does a lot of little things, he gets a lot of points.

 

It is the little acts of affection, attention and offering help that allow a man to rack up the points on Venus.

 

A married man gets one point for going to work, one point for returning and one point for being faithful.

These are the three golden points. Without these, he gets no other points.

These three points give him the keys to her heart but it is doing the little things that open the door.

This is crucial for a man to understand because men will do special things and then feel frustrated when his partner complains he is not doing enough.

 

He may have done something great, like taking her out on a special date, which in testosterone terms scored a hundred points.

To her, a successful date may have only been three or four points. Later, when she complains they haven't spent enough time together, he concludes that she is too demanding, or that there is nothing he can ever do to make her happy.

 

On Venus, it is the thought that counts.

 

Just offering to do something gives you a point before you even do it. Instead of just turning up the heat in my house, I will first say to my wife: 'You look a little cold. Would you like me to turn up the heat?'

 

In one stroke, I earn three points - one point for noticing her and thinking of her, one point for offering to do something without being asked and one point for turning up the heat.

 

In a similar manner, men get points for listening. Each time she covers a subject without him interrupting with a solution, he gets a point.

 

When a man brings his partner a dozen roses, she appreciates it but it only scores two points: one point for him doing it without her having to ask and another point for the roses.

 

If he wants to score more points, rather than bring a dozen roses once every few months, he can bring one rose 12 times.

This way he scores 24 points instead of two.

 

Men get more points from giving hugs than for being a good provider.

 

When I discovered this, I began giving my wife four hugs a day: one when I first see her in the morning, one when I say goodbye, one when I return and one before bed.

By showing some interest and asking a few questions about her day, I can easily earn another 10 points. Every time I ask about something with an awareness of what she was doing, I score a point.

 

A man gets more points when his questions are specific.

 

Rather than saying 'How was your day?', asking 'Did you get what you wanted at the marketing meeting' shows real involvement.

If he calls her during the day occasionally to ask how something went, he gets even more points.

Taking her on a vacation is certainly worth a few points but planning the vacation or romantic getaway in advance earns a man