ok. it was not my intention to have put someone in such an awkward position, but i did inadvertently. the moment i had mentioned the word 'promotion', everyone else on the table pricked up their ears and since I had uttered it, there was no turning back. Isn't the progression from trainee officer to assistant director a very straightforward one? It's most likely to be one of seniority - don't goof up in your first 3 years, do reasonably well that the organisation doesn't mind retaining you, and you'll get to the AD designation (and it's corresponding rank). For such a straightforward promotion of sorts which only seems natural, surely people shouldn't get so secretive and green-eyed? Well, apparently not. There are others who are still secretive about this. And maybe I'm really wrong about the natural progression part. But above all, it was just wrong to have talked about it in front of people I don't know - you see, among the closer colleagues, this is talked about as a matter of fact, not a point of contention which may arise if someone's promoted e.g. to deputy director level. 

 

The long and short of it was that the colleague/friend was put in a spot because the others didn't know about the promotion, and also because the promotion was of officer grade, not designation. The information that had filtered down was actually wrong. HORRIBLE BIG SIGH. It was most unfortunate that she was put into an awkward position of  having to explain, and there was no way I could retract my question. What was intended to be a happy congratulation turned into a very protracted awkward situation for her and me. :(

 

Perhaps the only silver lining on the cloud is that she later messaged me to convey her disapproval at conversation topic. At least she still told me, and in a nice way, instead of just ignoring me. Thank goodness. She accepted my profuse apologies , thankfully and hopefully.

 

PR boo-boo... better learn from it and etch it deep into your brain!