sometimes i feel that youth is slipping away from my grasp, like sand crystals which just escape from the gaps between the fingers when you don't pay attention. it's as if i live a life too staid and unbecoming of a young adult.

where's the recklessness that runs through my veins, the verve that ought to pulsate through my body, the wild sense of abandonment that would occupy my mind?

so rational, so mature, so considerate, so totally boring

but if living up life means partying, boozing and causing my parents to have seizures from endless panic attacks then there's no point to life.

well, what am i whining about? hahaaha i have no inkling. just stupid thoughts.