i was so uber upset last night. what was supposed to be straightforward devolved into a shouting match *no, it wasn't shouting. it was just his style of speaking at very raised tones*. i can accept it if you tell me that more communication is needed, and that there is a more logical way of doing things. i cannot accept it if you renegade on what you said last year, and now that things have been confirmed, you then turn around to say that we have been the selfish, inconsiderate ones. i can accept it if you say that we should be open, but i cannot accept it when, after i am open, you say you don't need to know the details. And when I truthfully say that there are no monetary concerns, you say that my attitude is hurtful and disrepectful to both of you. that was utter utter rubbish and i can't believe you could have said such flippant and rude things to your own child. I have never argued back, and never shouted back at you but for all that happened last night, I'm not the least apologetic. really. it's awful when you are up against years of pre-conceived notions that you never knew existed, or never told about, or worse, told that they didn't apply to you, only to realise now how deep rooted they are. good luck. to us all.