I'm not ignoring you intentionally or trying to play hide and seek. I'm not trying to spite you, or to deepen your feeling of guilt (if you are guilt stricken). It's just that there's nothing left to say. Make shallow talk about how each other's lives have been going? Try to behave as if all's super fine and dandy, we're much stronger best friends than we ever were, when both of us are feeling the ghost of the past inside? Or just dredge up the past and let the emotional tirade relive its heyday?

None of those, none of those should happen. We've been through such good times that making superficial shallow talk just demeans the chemistry that we once had.

Occasionally I would feel bad that im making u worried by not talking to u, and giving u the impression that I still hate you. But there's no hate, no anger, no sadness anymore and definitely no spite.

Though for some point our paths converged, there came a time when they parted. Just as if you were on a a long hike, you'll have memories of the paths you had trod upon - some fond, some unpleasant, but ultimately you would move forward; and even if you tried retracing those steps in search of those bittersweet memories, you won't find them there again. Perhaps a better, sweeter encounter awaits you when you retrace your path, or perhaps you'll face just disappointment. Those experiences you want to chase, exist in your heart, they no longer exist on that path, because everything - the pebbles on the road, the leaves on the trees, the blades of grass, the flowers in the wind - has changed. They might look like the pebbles you saw then, but on a closer look you realise that the details are different.

Wouldn't it be so simple to just laugh things off and behave as if nothing's changed? However it's difficult to act contrary to my wishes and there's really no need to do so anyway. Don’t wish to make you feel awkward or put you in a tight spot either.

One day perhaps, the chemistry will return. In the meantime, happy holidays